Kiksun

I came home fom Ukraine yesterday early in the morning. It took me one day to handle my feelings. I needed some sleep, I needed to look at pictures over and over again, I needed to read messages we wrote to each other, I needed to send some sms and to chat with some friends to get back to reality smoothly. And I am still half way in Ukraine at the EGTYF seminar with you...and everytime I close my eyes..I see you...your smiling faces, your focused faces, your sad faces, your shocked faces, your hoping faces, your satisfied faces...and I feel all those feelings at the same time...I hear the music we were listening together, we were dancing and singing to, I hear you laughing and talking and discussing..I hear you being silent, I hear you saying thank you and bye bye..and it squeezes me inside...I have tears in my eyes and I am happy at the same time. Happy because of unforgettable week which gave me so much - experience, friendship, new points of view, week which gave me belief and strength..I am happy about incredibly nice people who were willing to listen to each other, to help each other and to share with each other...I have nothing to complain about and it is not just because of my optimistic glasses I wear..but because of  all of you being perfect!

It feels like I have just woken up from a dream. A dream one week long. A dream which melted the cold and brightened the grey. A dream tied of laughs and smiles..

This dream has started more than a year ago when me and Lorena wrote an application to Council of Europe to get some money for the seminar. We wanted to make it different than the other seminars, we wanted to make it very complex. We were thinking of many details although it wasnt needed for the application. And we got it granted. Then there was time to create a preparation team. The way to get the final group of 5 people who would devote theirselves to preparations and carrying out our plans wasnt straight. But we managed again..it was really time to have some group  ready when I got final YES from 5 wonderful people who have got fully involved into preparations. Kadri, Linn, Marcus, Valja and me started our adventure. From the very beginning full of fun and jokes but also serious planning and talking. I have written about our preparation meeting somewhere in this blog already. I felt in my finger tips that this would be something very special from the very beginning. We have never met before in this constellation and we functioned just perfect from the first "hello..nice to meet you" to the last "see you in Kiev". And then we met in Kiev again..and just continued in the perfect work we started in Berlin...

The first participants arrived, the first hellos were told...and then...it was just rolling rolling rolling...every day passed so fast..I just remember my reflection groups (small groups in the evenings reflecting the day) telling me every evening that it was amazing how open the people were and how relaxed the atmosphere was..We had problems of course...cold rooms..very very cold. The food really not very special (but as Igor would say..there are people who dont have any food at all), lack of drinking water...but we were solving problems at the spot, together. Bought some sleeping bags, some cookies and vegetable, water..And the sun was shining for us!
Energizers (really needed after the cold nights) just brought us more together...I am still singing "shake bananas..shake shake bananas" and I laugh for myself..."bananas of the world..UNITE"
And now I hear the song we were singing together..."You´re simple the best"... You are! Don´t forget it!
We started our discussions, games and activities. We got to experience how it was to be discriminated and stereotyped..sometimes it felt terrible and unfair..sometimes you just felt like standing up and leaving the room..lots of emotions..but we managed to deal with them and to learn from them..And it also made the seminar something extraordinary.
I could continue describing every single day, but I will just write some key words..those who were there will understand:
cold cold night, long long talks, sleepless nights (cause of talking), crazy laughs, shaking bananas, crazy elephants, SLON, Marcus being stewardness, safety instructions, games, olympic games of stereotypes, Italian man at Malta, Jem - They, hugging circle, lots of pictures, intercultural game, sunny Kiev, bus trip..I am somehow speechless again..and moved, Dzenan, Sabrina and Matvey singing for us their own song made for the seminar participants, preparation team getting a wonderfull present from all participants..
Thank you for this experience. Thank you all. Prep.team (the best one ever), office people helping (Inese being guide in Kiev, Madlena cutting papers for me, fixing visa and tickets, Fredrik dealing with money) and THANK YOU all who were there contributing by your personality..

It feels like being in love. I think I still have to wait for my feelings to settle down..
I just still hope that tomorrow I´ll wake up into cold morning, will take a hot shower, will come to our plenary room, see your faces and will "shake banana"..